The Misconception of Domestic Violence

What's the first word that comes to your mind when you hear 'violence'?

Probably something along the lines of hitting, punching, kicking, etc. This common association with the word 'violence' has lead to very frightening consequences: We do not fully understand the definition of domestic violence. 

Today in my Positive Psych class we had a guest lecturer on domestic violence. I am fortunate enough to have no encounters with domestic violence in my life or the lives of people I love. Nevertheless, the guest lecturer opened my eyes to the mostly ignored issue of domestic violence. She challenged our previous perceptions of the term and forced us to understand the terrifying realities.

Violence is so much more than physical harm. It is belittling someone with words, or isolating, sexually taking advantage of, controlling, threatening, barricading, or restricting them. For an abuser, they commit acts of domestic abuse in order to maintain complete control over their victim. Abusers drive victims into the tightest of corners, leaving them absolutely no safe way to escape on their own. 

Not only does domestic violence involve abusers and victims, but also the social supporters. Our guest lecturer emphasized the difficulty when dealing with a friend in an abusive relationship. She stressed that you cannot tell them the obvious; never to say things like "You can't keep living like this" or "He will hurt you again and again." Instead, she offered the most successful route: simply being a friend. Words of encouragement and support are the best thing you can do to help out a friend. A victim faces their battle of abuse individually; they must escape on their own. However, support from friends can help them a great deal.

This lecture brought to light an issue in society that I rarely consider. Just because it doesn't affect my daily life, doesn't mean it won't someday in the future. I feel better prepared to help victims of abuse with the knowledge of my guest lecturer today.