The Importance of Friendships

As humans, we are biologically programmed to interact with other humans. Social interactions are integral to our development. We are who we are, in large part, because of our ties to other people. I am who I am because of my ties to friends and family. Clearly, there are varying levels of closeness in every relationship you share. Sometimes, we share just the facts, but other times, we reveal our deepest desires. Conversations are limited only by the limitations we place on ourselves: How much will I tell this person? Can they keep my secret? Will they judge my beliefs?

This leads me to my list of All Time Best Conversations. These gems have played an important role in somehow bringing me closer to other people and strengthening our social interaction. Due to my nasty habit of rambling, I will discuss just two:
1. Latin Geeks
     I spontaneously decided to intervene in a Frisbee game on the quad of University California Davis. Over the next five days, my attendance at National Latin Convention transformed from dull to unforgettable: my Frisbee friends and I conversed nonstop. We laughed over stories of quirky Latin teachers and tricky Latin verbs. We progressed into sharing stories about our lives back home and slowly building long lasting friendships. Evan, Sarah, and Cody are still my friends to this day because of the memorable conversations we shared.
2. Starbucks Chat
    My best friend, Taylor, is solely responsible for helping me maintain sanity throughout high school. After a rough day in school, she would drive us to the Starbucks down the hill from my house. We would order overpriced chai tea lattes, lug our heavy backpacks upstairs, and plop down into the comfy chairs by the windows. Taylor and I would delay starting our homework by conversing for hours over our lattes. Conversation with your best friend is effortless, but Starbucks chat with Taylor was invaluable. We would discuss our life goals, analyze mindsets of our friends, generate new approaches to old problems, and so much more.

I hope you can see the value of conversation. It can generate new friendships and strengthen the oldest friendships. What is one of the best conversations you've ever had?

Microexpressions

I've had a pretty rough week. I spent the entire day in bed watching the TV show "Lie To Me" online. It's yet another crime show, but with a fascinating twist. The show is centered around the existence of microexpressions in humans across every culture. Microexpressions are involuntary facial movements lasting 1/5 of a second and displaying certain emotions.  This promo video for the TV show explains them a little better:

These emotions include:  surprise, fear, disgust, contempt, anger, happiness, and sadness.


"Lie To Me" consists of a cast of characters skilled in identifying microexpressions. Each cast member catches the slightest movement in a suspects face, leading to different theories and evidence for the case. In reality, very few people are able to detect when others are lying. As humans, we tell lies effortlessly, but struggle to identify deception. Trickery, bluffs, lies, deception, fabrication, and deceit appear frequently throughout history and are employed regularly by world leaders.


My efforts to have a day of relaxation mildly succeeded. I can't escape my major, even when I try. It's the little things all around me that relate to Pschology and help me realize why I love my major.

The Misconception of Domestic Violence

What's the first word that comes to your mind when you hear 'violence'?

Probably something along the lines of hitting, punching, kicking, etc. This common association with the word 'violence' has lead to very frightening consequences: We do not fully understand the definition of domestic violence. 

Today in my Positive Psych class we had a guest lecturer on domestic violence. I am fortunate enough to have no encounters with domestic violence in my life or the lives of people I love. Nevertheless, the guest lecturer opened my eyes to the mostly ignored issue of domestic violence. She challenged our previous perceptions of the term and forced us to understand the terrifying realities.

Violence is so much more than physical harm. It is belittling someone with words, or isolating, sexually taking advantage of, controlling, threatening, barricading, or restricting them. For an abuser, they commit acts of domestic abuse in order to maintain complete control over their victim. Abusers drive victims into the tightest of corners, leaving them absolutely no safe way to escape on their own. 

Not only does domestic violence involve abusers and victims, but also the social supporters. Our guest lecturer emphasized the difficulty when dealing with a friend in an abusive relationship. She stressed that you cannot tell them the obvious; never to say things like "You can't keep living like this" or "He will hurt you again and again." Instead, she offered the most successful route: simply being a friend. Words of encouragement and support are the best thing you can do to help out a friend. A victim faces their battle of abuse individually; they must escape on their own. However, support from friends can help them a great deal.

This lecture brought to light an issue in society that I rarely consider. Just because it doesn't affect my daily life, doesn't mean it won't someday in the future. I feel better prepared to help victims of abuse with the knowledge of my guest lecturer today.

Reasons I Have to Smile

Sometimes when I feel overly stressed, strained to my limits, or deflated in spirits, my attempts to calm down revert to a philosophy of my positive psych teacher: List what makes you happy. You will feel better. I'm pretty stressed right now, and I reviewed in both of my Psych classes this week, so I didn't learn any new material. Perfect timing for a blog post like this one! I'm hoping that by making this list, I will feel marginally better by the end of the blog post. Let's see how this goes...

Reasons I Have to Smile

• My family is more than blood, they are my best friends and my entire life. I cherish their support and recognize how lucky I am to have this.
• I hold many friendships close to my heart. Few remain from early elementary school years. But those who remain are the strongest of them all.
• My experience in high school was my own definition of perfect. I never agree with people when they say they "couldn't wait to get out of high school". It's almost been a year since I spent the happiest four days of my life with 200 members of my graduating class in Disney World.
• Penn State is everything I dreamed it would be since I paraded through my 3rd grade classroom in a PSU cheerleading outfit leading "How You Feel" cheer from Remember the Titans. Football, friends, family, pride.. It can't be beat.
• My tendency to be overly sentimental allows me to value even the simplest memories in my life. I have a drawer in my closet at home labeled "Memories".  Within it, a ticket stub from my first ever live concert with my family (James Taylor) lies underneath every homemade birthday card a friend every made for me. Taking a trip down Memory Lane through the contents of this drawer is the perfect activity for a rainy day.
• I have a golden retriever puppy named Gracie. She struggles to overcome obstacles in her puppy life, like the concept of reflections in windows and mirrors. She likes giving hugs just like humans, sitting on laps despite her growing size, and rolling dozens of tennis balls under every cabinet and piece of furniture in my house.

I feel better already. Just fifteen minutes of reflection on the happiness in my life cured my Thursday night blues. Psychology may be countless theories and scientists, but it is also recognizing the importance of reflection. Taking a moment to reflect on the happiness in your life improves your perspective on your daily battles.